1. LIVING AT PEACE WITH OTHERS
Disagreement, argument and conflict are an inevitable part of relationships. As seen on the diagram below… We begin with conflict…. and conflict inevitably leads to frustration and anger. And from there… we will either 1. avoid confrontation or 2. engage in it.
PATH OF CONFLICT
Some people have a pattern of avoiding confrontation because their own insecurities… or because they feel that confrontation will only make matters worse. This is called AVOIDANCE. Avoidance is an unhealthy way of dealing matters that need confrontation because it never brings resolution to the problem. In addition, this unresolved anger often comes out later in different forms of passive-aggressive behavior… such as “exploding” with pent up anger, or with indirect forms of revenge. A second way of confronting matters is to ENGAGE the matter. When this is done in a healthy way, engagement of the matter can lead to healthy resolution. But often times, people engage the matter by DOMINATING the other person… bullying the other person into submission. Sometimes this comes through different forms of insulting, threatening, blaming or condemning the other person in order to get them to submit. And of course, this just makes the situation worse… and often even leads to more conflict.
If you can relate to these scenarios described above, we recommend checking out Peacemaker Ministries at www.peacemaker.net This website is dedicated to helping people resolve conflict in ways that foster healthy communication and positive resolution to problems. Their website has free resources (as well as ones you can purchase) that can help you in your efforts to resolve conflict in all areas of life including: marriage, family, the work place, friendships and more. When you go to this website, view and click the tabs in left hand column for helpful information and foundational principles for making peace with others. CLICK HERE to go to the website.
2. THE ART OF GRACIOUS DISAGREEMENT
Disagreement, argument and conflict is inevitable in life, but is there the possibility of learning how to “agree to disagree” and still have a loving and respectful relationship with those we disagree with? RBC ministries offers a free resource in guiding you in this art of relationship. This resource applies primarily to resolving disagreement in a church setting, but the principles can apply just as well in work and family settings. CLICK HERE to download the PDF article.